Inside of me...

This morning in the warming freshness of summer I sit to wrestle and ponder and feel answers from heaven.  With hands placed on my abdomen (growing now) I wonder and wait for the Spirit to speak.  He does, as is so often the case when I create a space conducive to His whispers.

And I'm taught from on high about how we mothers have the sacred blessing of housing a spirit baby for 9 precious months.  It is painful at times and uncomfortable always, but oh the sweet gift we can discover when the Spirit teaches that within us resides a piece of heaven.

I hear an airplane soar above and I am soaring higher than even this..for I am a breath away from the very heavens.

Oh how the veil can thin, and how clearly we can hear our Father's voice because of the unique connection these little ones provide.

I am taught that if I quiet my mind and open my heart, I can have direct access to heaven's guidance.

It is this which prompts me to linger just a little longer and feel if there is indeed more for me to learn today.  And there is.

I am brought to understand that each child is really given...as a gift to us.  Each one is a precious little care package equipped with everything we need to be blessed and become more godlike.

I think of my children--how their strengths and their talents bless me.  Those things like arms wrapping around me with soft kisses or bear kisses on the cheek, truly sincere "I love you Mommy's", hilarious tidbits of childlike innocence, and sweet expressions of Divine dispositions: "Mommy," (as I'm picking up the blocks) "you need help because you have a baby in your tummy."

Can we ever stop seeing our children as holy breaths of heaven sent to give us grace from Him?

And then there are the rough times, the foibles we see even in our "perfect" children, the constant reminder that we all live in a fallen world.  But these things, like quarrels over toys, disobedience, little white lies, frowns, and meltdowns, do they not teach us how to overcome our own weaknesses...of impatience, anger, control, selfishness, perfectionism?

Everything, everything these spirits come with is Divinely designed to mold us into disciples of Christ.

And this is why they are our own personal care packages from a loving Father above.

Today's last whisper from heaven comes like dew telling me of my own little care pacakges:

"You've been given your Fireball, and your Sweet & Spicy Cuddlebug, now I am sending you your Angel."  

And at that very moment, a little bump rises from the right side of my tummy and meets my stroking fingertips.

~~~~~~~~~~~

And here are recent portraits of our little care packages:

Our exuberant, energetic, loving, leading Fireball

And our syrupy-sweet, mischievously spicy Cuddlebug:

To Grammy's House {Part 1}.

We sojourned at Gram and Pop's for a week (the first week of May) before our move-in with Patrick's family.

Oh how the boys love being outside at Grammy and Poppy's house.

When I tell Easton to smile, this is what he does.

Or this.

And every once in a while, he gives me this.

Last Days.

The last week in our apartment brought bittersweet feelings.

The thought of packing up our everything and storing it until December was heart-wrenching...but the prospect of living with our family...adventurous...poignant...binding...a time of blossoming and growth.

That's how I see it now, but during this particular week I was burdened with morning sickness and a bad bout of 24-hour flu the day we moved out....a week I don't want to relive any time soon.

We've been here two years.  Tate is no longer a baby, Easton is no longer a toddler.

They're growing up and everyday reminding me that I get the privilege of reliving all of this all over again when the December snowfall arrives.

And on the days when I feel so weary I just try to remember how fleeting these past 4 years have been--like lilac blossoms here and then gone again in the blink of an eye.

Easton, how have you grown so tall so gradual-like?  How do you intuitively know when I am sad and offer your unconditional love?  How have you turned into a little person with an adorable, sunny-sweet disposition, always ready to perform, brighten, fill?

You amaze me.

Little Tate, why are you not little anymore?  How have you gained inches and pounds so quickly during the last few months?  How is it that you can go from having a 5-word vocabulary at 2 years old to talking in complete sentences at 2 1/2?  How did you develop such a paradoxical personality of calmness and wild animation?  To me it all happened overnight.

Patrick, how do I still get butterflies when I see you in the distance, when you don't know I'm watching?  How have you become to me even more of an anchor, strength, and support than when we were first married?  How do we know each other so nearly perfectly?  When did our admiration and devotion become cemented together in such a rock-solid fashion?

You are my everything {mortal}.

Goodbye Bright Cavern.

You have given us a place in which to house 2 years worth of memories.

And I will be continually reminded that you are another stepping-stone to what lies ahead...

This song has ended.  But another one is just beginning...

A Little Bit of Easter...all year long

On the Monday before Easter we gathered for a lesson about the significance and meaning of Easter.  Each of the six eggs held one of the letters of Easter and each stood for a principle we taught the boys.

E- Egg
A- Atonement
S- Sunday
T- Tomb
E- Eternal Life
R- Resurrection

On Saturday we searched for eggs and I thought of the symbolism of eggs and birth and resurrection and how Mary searched for the body of Jesus but found the empty tomb that brought forth the resurrected Lord.

"He is not here: for he is risen." (Matthew 28:6)  Are these not the most glorious words uttered in all the New Testament?

I read from Ann and wonder why I haven't seen it before.

"What if we don’t pack up Easter — but purposed to live Easter?"

"Could Easter become not just weekend but a whole long season of celebrating — a season of His signs?"

Do we not yearn to linger in the Christmas spirit and make it our spirit for the rest of the year?

Could we not do the same with the spirit of Easter?

And when we go inside to dye eggs, I think of how the tomb, like the egg, is not dyed but "died."  The tomb became a womb for triumph and a rebirth of life--eternal life.

Easter is always a time for new wonder and new sunshine and clean fresh air to breathe as family and friends.

Easter Sunday dawned with surprises in baskets...again the reminder of finding joy in the resurrection.

Always the message and symbols of Christ can be found.

"And behold, all things have their likeness, and all things are created and made to bear record of me, both things which are temporal, and things which are spiritual; things which are in the heavens above, and things which are on the earth, and things which are in the earth, and things which are under the earth, both above and beneath: all things bear record of me." (Moses 6:63)