Tater's First Day of School.

It's hard to believe my second little one is in Kindergarten. I don't think I've entirely gotten over the shock. It still seems so unreal that it's just Maylie and me in the mornings now. And I don't even want to think about next year when both boys will be gone all day.

The day dawned bright and early for my little Tater Bug--who is not really a morning person and prefers sleeping in and waking up slow. I crept in to their bedroom and woke him up slowly with a back rub and cuddles. That first morning he woke up quickly--maybe because he was so excited...or nervous. (Now that he's gone to school for two weeks, the newness has worn off and he likes to roll over and go back to sleep; but I am persistent.) I listened to their morning prayers and helped them make their beds and get dressed.

He chose toast for breakfast and of course, as is tradition, he ate from his golden plate that gets used on every special occasion.

After we combed hair and said family prayer, and took our traditional front porch first day of school picture, Tate asked me to kiss the palm of his hand. At first I thought, "What!?" He's so grown up he won't even let me kiss him on the cheek anymore? But I kissed his hand anyway, and he held it up to his cheek and then over his heart. And then I knew.

It was a "Kissing Hand." I had meant to read him that book the night before, but we forgot. And yet, somehow, during one of the times he listened to the story, he had stored away that special information for future use. My heart kind of broke as I watched him walk out to the garage with his hand over his heart and ask Easton to open the car door for him so he wouldn't have to move his hand.

Patrick took the boys to the bus stop and Easton promised to take good care of Tate on the bus and sit with him so he wouldn't be scared. Back at home, Maylie and I got ready in 10 minutes and then Patrick picked us up and we all headed over to the school. We met the boys in the commons area and when they finally raised the gates so they could go to their classrooms, Easton hustled off to his room without so much as a goodbye--he's so grown-up these days. Tate was clutching my hand nervously but was grinning and looked excited.

When we got to his classroom, I helped him find his cubby to hang his backpack and then we found his seat. It was such a tender mercy that his teacher put him on the "orange table." It was a comfort to him that he got to sit at the table with his favorite color. He wouldn't sit down at first; he just wrapped himself around me, begging me not to leave. So I told him I would stay for a few minutes until his teacher told me to go.

He reluctantly sat down and I stood behind him while the other kids all got situated. One by one the parents started saying their goodbyes and drifting out of the room, while the teacher passed out coloring pages. It was all so soon and so sudden. I wasn't sure if I was ready--and I knew Tate wasn't. I lingered a little longer, hoping other parents would too, but pretty soon I was the last one. So I leaned down to Tate and whispered in his ear that it was time for me to go. He gripped my hand and said, "But my teacher hasn't told the parents to leave yet!!!!" I showed him that all the other parents were gone and I needed to go too, but I would watch him from the window for a few minutes. I told him he would have so much fun and that his teacher would be so nice and I would see him in just a little while. He finally let go of my hand, gave me one last hug and I kissed his head.

Patrick and I watched through the window for a few minutes, and he never looked back. He seemed to be doing just fine. So we chatted with our neighbors as we walked out the door and I had to put on a happy face. But as soon as we parted ways, my eyes filled with tears and the whole reality of it fell upon me like I knew it would. It had happened with Easton on his first day of Kindergarten and I was prepared for the rush of memories that would accompany the sadness this time around. Even so, it wasn't enough to take away the sting...

...I remembered holding Tate for the first time in the hospital that cold, snowy December night and noticing his cute little ears and nose first thing. I remembered seeing him smile for the first time on my cherry wood bed with the patchwork quilt in our little Rexburg cottage. I remember how he had calmed and comforted my heart from the very beginning. And the feeling of sublime peace he brought to our family that winter of 2008-2009. And then the memories flashed past in spurts--just little things like his big blue eyes, his marshmallowy little body. His utter contentedness in every aspect of his life. Watching him explore Gram and Pop's sheds--observing the wonder of it all. His humor, his joy, his silliness, his perfect politeness and sweetness. Truly, there has never been another quite like our little Tater Bug. And I walked in the windy street to the car wondering how five years can seem like the blink of an eye. Oh my little one, how was I ever blessed to be your mother??

The morning passed quickly--but it was so strange with just me and Maylie. The dynamics changed when Easton left and they changed again with Tate's departure. And soon, we were waiting down at the bus stop for our little boy to return. We waited there with the other mothers for over 45 minutes, they were so late. But Maylie faithfully held the small bag of candy corns she had been entrusted with--leaving them unopened as a gift for Tate for being so brave and not even crying a bit. And when the bus finally stopped, I saw him through the window, waving excitedly with the biggest grin on his face.

He skipped over to us and koala-bear hugged me (meaning he wraps his arms and legs around me completely). Maylie gave him his candy corns and of course, as is custom for Tate, he happily offered to share with her and told me all about his day (or at least all about recess) as we walked back home.

All in all, I survived and he thrived. It's different having him all grown-up and gone, but change is part of life, I am accepting this change as good and blessed, even if my heart will always secretly weep for those days long past that will only be relived in my memory.

Dear Tate,
You are amazing and brave and bright and bubbly and sweet and perfect just exactly the way you are. I could not live without you. You are my ocean of peace.

Com grande amor,
Mommy

P.S. I love you...

Last Night's Agenda.

It was a long, hard day, and remembering my manifesto of earlier this year, I decided that a warm soak in the tub with sugar scrub and calming music was in order.

Afterwards, I snuggled in my bed reading and pondering the questions I had asked the Lord earlier.  He gave me answers to both....

And this was one of them...my new quest to bring good cheer to the world around me.

First, through sincere and heartfelt compliments--to those I love the most as well as to those the Lord places in my path...those in the grocery line, at the park, or anywhere else I am.

And second, by leaving little sticky notes in random places--especially to those in my family {like lunch boxes, pillows, and laundry} and also to those around me whom I'll never meet {like on public restroom mirrors}.

It's not much, but these 2 little ways to serve will hopefully bring me out of my comfort zone and closer to the peace of my Father and Savior.

Living in Harmony.

So I've been trying a new experiment for my "year of connection."  I started with a renovation of my daily rhythm (which happens every so often as the little ones get older and present different needs) and the result has blessed my life immensely.

My morning rhythm is much the same...my personal getting ready time, personal scripture study, family prayer, getting Patrick and Easton out the door, breakfast, getting the 2 little ones ready for the day, cleaning the house, and doing the laundry.  Then I set in "liquid stone" time to have preschool and playtime with Tate.  I call it liquid stone because it's set in stone, but the liquid stone is kind of like corn starch...it can be hard or soft.  Therefore, if something comes up on a given day, liquid stone will allow me to be flexible.  (It's just an image for my mind to process consistency with flexibility).

After we pick up Easton from the bus stop, we make lunch, eat, and clean up.  Then the boys have their playtime together while I play with Maylie (for roughly 30 minutes) {This is also set in liquid stone.  In fact the whole afternoon is...}.  Afterwards, we read stories together (another 30+ minutes) and then we put Maylie down for her nap.  The boys and I have Mommy Playtime and we switch off doing activities that they choose with ones that I choose (usually super easy and fun ones that I've found on Pinterest).  After that they get their free time to either watch a movie or play a game on the Wii or iPod.  Then we do a quick pick-up of the house and make dinner.

During dinner we have family scripture study (which is a great way at this stage in our lives to combine the daily bread with the living bread).  Afterwards is clean-up, the boys get ready for bed, and then they get to have special time with Daddy.  They switch off the things they do each day.  Some days they wrestle, or play the Wii, read stories, or play board games.  While they have time together, I finish up any chores or tasks I didn't get finished during the day, or relax for a few minutes.

This rhythm has been the most successful one yet.  It's as if a light finally went on and every day is a celebration!  Celebrating my children, celebrating every season, celebrating their talents and interests, celebrating learning, celebrating fun, and most of all, just celebrating us!

After two weeks of implementing our new rhythm, I read a quote from my Simple Abundance book that summed up exactly what was happening:

"Harmony is the inner cadence of contentment we feel when the melody of life is in tune.  When somehow we're able to strike the right chord--to balance the expectations of our families and our responsibilities in the world on the one hand with our inner needs for spiritual growth and personal expression on the other."   --Sarah Ban Breathnach

I now have a word for the feeling that has descended on my heart--it's harmony.  And though the times and seasons will inevitably change, I know that with the Lord's help, we can achieve harmony with every change.

My 400th Post!

It's like a birthday celebration for my blog and it's so fun to reflect on where this blog came from and the journey it's taken me on.

Back in 2008 Patrick created this blog as a little experiment.  We had heard of several friends who had a blog, but I was a little skeptical and didn't really feel the desire to begin blogging.  Plus, I found it completely overwhelming and had no idea how to post or do ANYTHING!  Patrick posted a few pictures of Easton (who was just a baby) and that was that.  For months I forgot all about it.  But then, sometime during the year I started creating Smileboxes and so I would post a smilebox on the blog so others could watch our slideshow of pictures.  And for a long while, this is mostly all our blog consisted of. But eventually, I abandoned the smilebox idea and began the laborious work of going back and updating all of our old posts with the pictures that were on the smileboxes.  I felt so rewarded when it was finally done.

As time went on, I came to the realization that this blog was the perfect way for me to record our family history.  And so an overarching purpose for my blog was born and it has been so ever since.  This blog is written to us; it's an account of all our memories, so when I am old, I can look back and read the life we lived together.  Because I know I will forget all the moments.  And if I don't take a picture, or journal, or blog, it will soon be erased from my memory.

And so I continue to blog.  And I probably always will, until my children are grown and gone...but then there will be grandkids. :)  So perhaps I never will be done, (unless a better option of recording family history is introduced.)

Lately I have been sorting out the balance of what to include where and on which blog.  A few years back I started a few more blogs with the intention of writing frequently on them.  But like I've done many times in the past, I overestimated the amount of time I would have to devote to the cause and 3 of them fell by the wayside.  These three seemed disconnected and often prevented me from writing on this blog many of my thoughts and daydreams and meditations.  

So after praying about it (we are to counsel with the Lord in all our doings, right?) I decided to merge those three blogs into this one and import all of the posts.  I will do so later today.  Then this blog can contain almost everything.  Quest for Happiness will always remain open, because if when I ever do become an author, I want a place to direct my readers that is separate from my family blog.  My photography blog will always be there to house all of my client's photoshoots, and of course, I will always have my personal journal.  And so while this blog doesn't contain all of my musings (found on Quest for Happiness) or all of my personal writings (a journal is the best place to keep such personal writings), this blog, "Familia Johnson Chronicles" is "alive and breathing" to accomplish the following purposes:

1. Keep our Family's History.  I will continue to document the moments and the milestones.  The trips and the memories from day-to-day.  The holidays and the small traditions.  The portraits, the hobbies, the birthday tributes, and most of all, the PICTURES!
2. Record the shapings of my yearly themes.  By doing this, I receive a focus for my year and have different ways to blog each year.  In the past I've done things like, Magical Memories and Moments on Monday.  This year I will be showcasing many of the "connection" memories we enjoy.  I will be posting lots of children's activities and Family Home Evening's we have done to document how connection shapes our year and our hearts.
3. Encourage, inspire, and uplift.  I am a writer; I suppose I always will be.  And my favorite thing to write are words of encouragement that I have gleaned or learned from others.  While most of these things are recorded on Quest for Happiness, occasionally I post things on this blog too.
4. Mix in a small dose of me--my personality, feelings, passions, moods, random thoughts, crafts, recipes, books, and snippets of whimsy.  Some days are rosy, others are not.  But since I am the primary contributor of this blog, hopefully I can present an honest view of me--who I truly am.

So, dear "Familia Johnson Chronicles," thank you for all of the places you've taken me and for all that you've taught me.  Thank you for helping me refine my talents of writing and photography and thank you for letting me spill onto you all the things that are overflowing in my heart.

You will always be one of my dearest friends.

Unexpected.

It's Five Minute Friday.

Linked up to The Gypsy Mama, we write for 5 small minutes on whatever thoughts come spilling through our fingertips.

It's unedited, unplanned, and unscripted.

Today's topic is Unexpected.

I begin.

When my inner moments grow calm and I settle those rushed feelings of everyday hecticness that accompany life with little ones, I write and write and ponder and write some more.  About life.  About grace.  About all the expected and unexpected.

Life is so different than what I thought it would be.  Planning as a young woman all that I would be and how the title "super mom" would just naturally fall upon my shoulders with little effort.  Children are sometimes unexpected.  So are personalities.  And money (or lack thereof).  So are jobs and careers.  And the loss of the tightly controlled world I once had.  It's all unexpected.
Maybe that's why it's so adventurous.
And I know I wouldn't have it any other way.

I wouldn't change in the least one aspect of the sweet little ones I've been given.  I am their steward and the task is so much harder and more real and more rewarding than I ever imagined it would be.

I wouldn't change even one thing about my husband.  He is my all and though I dreamed of the Knight and Shining Armor who would grace my doorstep one day, I never could have imagined him to be so perfect....even with all of my lofty ideals.  It's all so unexpected...

...and utterly oh so lovely.

Relevant...the View from There.

Today is 5 minute Friday.  I am linking up with the Gypsy Mama, and in her own words this is what she describes to be 5 minutes Friday:

"On Fridays around these parts we stop, drop, and write.

"For fun, for love of the sound of words, for play, for delight, for joy and celebration at the art of communication.

"For only five short, bold, beautiful minutes. Unscripted and unedited. We just write without worrying if it’s just right or not."







And so I begin...

Relevant

If my life were an hourglass and all the sands of time just kept trickling down, how would I feel the quality of my sand to be?

Everything always appears to be relevant, but when looked at from a higher plane, all is not.  Where can I go to have this higher viewpoint?

In Portugal I climbed to the top of Cruz Alta and when I got to the top, I saw the tall cross and thought of Him.  How He had trekked to the top of the hill carrying His cross and then died for us all.  But then how He was resurrected again and became a new creature, a celestial being.  And I thought how my journey in Portugal had so closely resembled His.  There was the carrying and the burdens and the weight.  Then there was the lifting and the crucifying of my natural man and the rebirth of a new creature, a new Jamie Greene.

And I looked out over the beautiful panarama from atop the mountain and could see the higher way.  I could see where I had been and I could see where I was going.  I had a game plan.  I was ready to conquer my next mountain of coming home.

Mountains are always placed in front of us to climb.  And when we get to the top, perhaps we need to look at the bigger picture, see where we've been and where we're going next...where our next mission is leading us.

This I will do.  I need to climb a mountain and see how far I've come and where I'm going now.  I need another Cruz Alta.  I need to see the view from up there...

Essas fotos de Luso é cortesia do TripAdvisor

A New Member

I am wanting to invite a new member into our family...a DSLR camera to call my very own.

I have loved my little point-and-shoot since it's arrival, but it is time to take the next step.  I've been feeling it for about a year.  I have researched and dreamed for days and months.  I feel like the time to bring her home is coming soon.

She will be a part of our family because of the contribution she will make.  She will be the memory-preserver, and I will be the historian.  Partners in creation, we will strive to capture the small and the mundane, the large and illustrious.  Together, we can weave the tapestry of our family's history, for generations to enjoy...

Soon you will be mine, and I will name you and handle you with care, and take you wherever our family treads, for you will be the dear device that will preserve the memories that I will look upon in the many years to come.

My Very Own Autumn

Last month at this time I was completely and utterly dreading Autumn...not because I dislike the beautiful leaves and crisp air, but simply because I am a summer girl who loves warmth and sunshine...not to mention how awful it is to look ahead apprehensively for a stressfully busy Christmas season and then even worse, the winter blues that descend upon me with a terrific crash in January.

So I've pondered a lot on what I can do about my seasonal mood swings and I determined to ask my dear, sweet friend Savanah for some wisdom in this regard.

With her usual insight, she replied with some ideas that changed my whole outlook on the months of September, October, November, and December.

1.  Try to find things that are beautiful amidst the dreary winter.  Like watch the sunrise make the freshly fallen snow sparkle.  Or wear a black pair of gloves and catch the snowflakes on them.  The black makes it so that you can see each individual snowflake beautifully and you can admire their each unique shape.  I find that when we make a conscious effort to look for the good in everything then we find it.  So make it a goal to each day find one thing new that you can enjoy about winter.

2.  Make a goal for the end of each month.  Have something exciting and fun to look forward to.  Like a pedicure or lunch out with your grandma or something.  If you have something fun to look forward to, than the months won't seem to drag on too slowly.

3.  Try wearing bright colors.  Even when everyone else is wearing the seasons dark and drab color scheme, try wearing spring colors to lift your spirits.  You could also try adding bright colors to your home decor for the winter season to try and brighten your home.

4.  Learn something new.  I thought that a fun hobby would be to learn to crochet cute winter hats.  My mom made some last winter that had an adorable flower on the side, they were so stylish for a homemade hat.  Those might be fun to learn to make in order to lighten up a winter day!

5.  Make memorable winter moments.  Make a snowman with your boys or curl up in a big blanket with a cup of hot chocolate, warm popcorn, an old movie and your little family.

And finally....today I found a wonderful idea in the Ensign.  There was an article about a mom who memorized "The Living Christ" and then tried to help her family memorize it.  I know that our kids are too young for that just yet, but what if you tried to work on memorizing a part of it each day.  It will uplift your spirits, invite the Holy Ghost into your home and no doubt prepare you for the Christmas season.  Before you know it, winter will be half over and you won't even have had time to think about it!!

And so because of her inspiration, my Autumn has become something different this year.  It's not just a time to notice the dropping temperatures or dread the foreboding winter.

It's a time of change.  And of preparation.

It's a time to settle down and make home a comfortable haven for soon wintry days.

It's a time to put away the summer and put on the fall...including soft sweaters. (Of course, I'm going to continue wearing summer colors on occasion. ;)

It's a time to stop and pause and look how far this year has taken me...and how far I still have to go in order to reach my goals and become the person I want to be before the end of December.

It's a time to recommit to pushed aside projects and procrastinated ideas.

It's a time to make apple pie and pumpkin spice bread.

And cinnamon rolls...we had those last night.

And last week when the boys and I drove down to my Mom's, I glanced off to my right to see a little bunch of fiery red trees clustered on the side of a mountain.

It was a sign to me that Autumn is officially here...and surprisingly, that thought did not make me cringe or even sigh.

I smiled.

When winter comes along, I will be ready with Savanah's tricks up my sleeve.

"Come what may, and love it!" as Elder Wirthlin would say.

I guess my goal for September can be checked off.

I am LOVING Autumn.

Where I Am.

Today I'm feeling the need to take a small break...to look at this year...how far I've come...and how far I still need to go.  I feel tired and exhausted for really no reason at all.  Fall time is hastening on and I finally realized that I'm ready for it to come.  Summer has long been my most favorite time of year and this year I dreaded even the thought of Fall...which meant winter was on its way.  But last week something changed for the better.  I found a few Autumn pieces to display in my home and then a few more and a few more.  Until I found myself surrounded by Autumn decor and I was happy. 

And then there was yesterday.  I happened upon the steal of the century with a $20 beautiful record player.  The record player is long gone, but the piece is stunning and I can't wait to paint it all white.

And therefore, today with summer lingering and autumn forthcoming, I feel the need to stop. Sit. And reflect upon this year.  I have learned much.  I have grown much.  But I need to reflect and remember in order to make the best possible use out of the rest of this year.  I have a little less than 4 months.  I want to make them spectacular...like the grand finale to an already grand year.  But how can I do this unless I first stop and ponder upon where this year has taken me and where I still need to traverse.  Perhaps this poem by Robert Frost sums it up best:


Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.


The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

Today I'm in love with...

Golden Retrievers

Someday I'm going to have one...actually two...and then maybe a dozen when the puppies come.

It's just a dream...but it's one that I hope will come true.

I think I've been in love with them ever since the day when we found Polly by a little pond in Driggs, Idaho...or was it Victor?

She spent the day retrieving stick after stick from the water and loyally stayed by our sides.  When it was dark, we still had not found her owner.  So we took her to our cabin.  The next day we called the Animal Shelter and reported her.  The lady told us to keep her because she was pretty positive no one would call in and claim her.  But we left our number just in case and then drove the 4 1/2 hours home with Polly in the back of our suburban.  Somewhere I have a picture of Polly with her head laid on my lap during the trip home.

And she was ours for a whole week.

~~~~

Until the Animal Shelter called us back and told us Polly's owner had called in.

So we met him halfway to give her back.  We found out her name was Blaze and we were quite disgusted, for to us, she was Polly.  She seemed happy to see her owner and even happier to see her companion male dog, but we still cried on the way home.

Not too much later, we got a dog of our own.  But that's another story for another day.

I loved Polly even though she was mine for only a week.  I loved her dark coat and soft fur.  I loved her loyalty and sweet demeanor.

I think it's because of you, Polly, that I want golden retrievers...for keeps.

And perhaps someday when we have our very own house and have room for a dog, we will find the ones that are meant to be ours.

And maybe someday this will be my little boy by our very own golden.

Remember When?

It seems like only yesterday when I held my babies' feet in my palm.  And still it seems forever ago at the same time.  Remember when?  Remember the awe?  The unconditional love? The sheer joy of cradling your little one's precious spirit in your arms?  I do.  At least hazily.  When was the last time you held your little one close and kissed their feet?  Children never get too old to be touched. to be cuddled. to be snuggled and loved.  Even as adults we yearn to be held close.  I remember the days of sickness growing up.  My mother was always by my side with chicken noodle soup and a cool wash cloth.  But what I remember most is her touch.  The touch of her hand as she checks my fever.  The feel of her fingers stroking my hair.  We need to be caressed.  

And if you search your heart, you'll realize that even and most importantly, our Father in Heaven reaches out and touches us.  At times it's through the touch of another.  But far more often, it comes as an enveloping blanket when sorrow strikes your soul.  It's a peaceful warmth flooding your heart.  It's a soft caress beginning at the tip top of your head and traveling down to your toes.  It's a tingling of witness when you hear something that strengthens your testimony.

Reach out to Him.  Let Him touch your heart.  Reach out to your little ones.  They need your caress.

Perhaps this life is to learn how to reach.  How to touch.  And be touched.