Today.

Nana and Papa came on their way down South. They brought us a whole huge box of books...all mine from when I was little. They also brought huge pixie sticks for the sweeties (which soon turned into fencing instruments) and lots of little candy legos...

We talked and laughed. It was so nice to see them. With all of us being sick off and on for the last 3 months, we haven't been able to get together at all (minus the girls' princess trip we had a few weeks back).

They walked around our home and admired all the decorating projects I've been up to. We scanned the basement and talked over possible plans for finishing it. Then we gazed out over the backyard at all the rocks we've lined for flower beds. We talked about the summer plans for our yard and about how this perfect little home and this soon-to-be-perfect yard is my children's whole universe. And the hills surrounding us--though not as picturesque as wheat fields and cornfields, are perfect for long walks and exploring. And with the coming of our fence in just a few weeks, and our grass in just a few weeks after that, it will be such a perfect world for my little children.

And so I've set aside this home-on-a-farm dream that I've held so long. Maybe I'll pick it up again when the nest is empty and Patrick and I are ready for a new adventure. Or maybe not. Maybe this home will weave itself so tightly into my heart that I won't be able to let it go...not for all the cornfields in the country. Time will only tell.

But regardless of where we will live in 25 years, whether it is here, or a new home, or an existing home remodeled in the country, my home will be the perfect place to invite family and friends and new mothers and little grandchildren to come take a few days and relax. It will be a place of retreat for any who need to chat, rest, and rejuvenate. This will be my purpose then. And I'm so extremely grateful that the Lord gave me this vision last night of the next season of my life. Because it made me realize that not all of my dreams have to come true right now. When I'm 50, I'll enter another glorious stage with nearly half of my life still ahead of me. And if it is right to take my farmhouse dream off the shelf, then I will. And if not, I won't. I will know then. But either way, my purpose of offering a safe haven of love to my family will be the same.

And as for this season....it's supremely GLORIOUS! I was given a vision of that last night as well. This perfect little Sun Haven Cottage is to become--today--an MTC for my children....a Missionary Training Center and a Motherhood Training Center. And my purpose continues to be to nurture my little ones in love and righteousness...to help them discover their testimonies, teach them the truths of the gospel and practical life skills; to help them discover and refine their talents; to play with them in childlike wonder; to bring a love of music into their hearts; to bind us together through meaningful, simple family traditions; and to bring us Home together--back to the presence of our Father.

But I've rambled off on a tangent....

Back to Nana and Papa...

When it was time for them to go, we walked outside to say goodbye. But then we heard the ice cream truck's melody, and so Papa gave us $5 and we ran down the sidewalk in our bare feet to buy some ice cream. The boys have long been wanting to do this but we always seem to miss it when it comes around!

And as we walked back to our home in the warm April sunshine, I smiled to myself with all the happiness that's deep inside of me...This small-town life of mine, it's mine...and it's oh so good.

Scratch that, it's oh so perfect--perfectly perfect in every way.

And I wouldn't change a single thing.

Project-Fail = Life-Win

This lovely jumbled pile is my stash of journals (and I think I've even missing a few).  My whole life is contained in the pages of these lovely books starting from when I was just 4 years old...

On Friday we found out that ldsjournal.com is closing down and I was instantly stressed. I have many many entries that are only digital and are not found in these physical journals. Thankfully, the owner of the site is allowing our journals to be downloaded as a pdf.

But then, being the organized person that I am stressed again. Some of these journals (like maybe one or two) I transcribed to ldsjournal....but not all of them! My digital journal must be all formatted perfectly, right?

Well, so began the frenzy of frantically typing up my journals....because ldsjournal will be up and running until April 30.

I soon found myself in over my head though. What I thought would be a quick and easy project took hours on Friday and Saturday...and I made it through almost 3 journals. I had to take a reality check and realized that if I worked for hours on this project every day, I might, just might be able to finish by April 30. But did I really want to spend every waking minute at the computer typing and stressing? I have worked so hard the last few months to "de-stress" my life and become physically and emotionally happy and healthy....

By the time I was driving to the General Women's meeting on Saturday night, I knew that this was just a tricky ploy to get me off course. Most of the time we are not tempted to do great and grievous sins...sometimes, very good and noble goals and aspirations can be used to throw us off balance in life. And so when I returned home, I tucked my journals back into my dresser and closed the drawer on that dream.

I smiled and congratulated myself on this "fail," because really, it was a win.

Last year, at this very time, I didn't learn this lesson. I filled my plate much too high with noble and worthy endeavors and sacrificed my happiness and sanity in the process. But this year, I didn't make the same mistake. It was a bit hard to let go of this dream, but I know deep down that it was for the best. And if we are in tune with the Spirit enough, He will let us know when our lives are heading down the wrong path.

But nothing is wasted. And those 3 journals that I typed up were a pure delight to go back and remember the little girl I was at 4, 5, and 6---and in elementary school, middle school, and junior high. I started at the beginning and that's how much ground I covered in 3 journals. I don't think I've ever sat down to read my journals and it was enlightening to submerse myself in my childhood and see my children in so many of the things I said and did and wrote...

So for the record, I'll chalk this up to a Project-Fail, Life-Win. Someday I'll begin the process of typing up my journals again...but I won't give myself a timeline of 20 days.

And as for now, I will continue my healthy, happy, positive life and use my small, personal free time for reading my pile of half-read books, planning our 8th anniversary, and planning our summer. My season of "being" for this year is coming to an end, and with the advent of summer my season of "doing" will begin. I start with 3 photo sessions in just a few weeks and our summer will blast off from there.....not stopping until the end of August.

So may you feel peace for these last remaining weeks of Spring and savor this time to read and plan and just "be" in preparation for the whirlwind that always accompanies summer...

The Winter of Sickness and The Book Tradition

As February begins winding down, I have decided this has been the winter of sickness.  I've been sick from Thanksgiving on with one sinus infection or cold or virus after another.  Me and Maylie have had two rounds of antibiotics, and the boys have been sick too but managed to escape having to use antibiotics...yet (knock on wood).  And it hasn't been fun, this 3-month long season of sickness (with just a few days in-between viruses of healthy days) or desirable in the slightest, but I have learned a lot of lessons.

Lesson #1--I need to take care of my needs and the needs of my family first.  It is all right to say no, even though I despise falling through with commitments and such.  When we are sick, as President Uchtdorf would say, we need to slow down and focus on what's most essential.  I have vowed that when I get well I will not forget this lesson and strive to keep my family's needs met and not feel bad when I have to take it easy and take care of us.

Lesson #2--The house will wait for me and somehow the Lord will help it get clean.  Last week was so difficult for me because I was too sick to keep up on the regular household chores, which of course, drives me absolutely berserk.  I am such a structured and organized person.  I have learned that this is just a part of who I am and I will always be most happy when my home and my inward self is orderly, clean, and tidy.  And yes, as both my mom and gram reminded me, the house will wait.  And though this phrase made me cringe as I watched all of the the laundry piling up and the crumbs collecting needlessly on the floor, wait I did. And while I was at a meeting on Saturday accompanying a high councilor's musical number, Patrick cleaned the house for me--reminding me of the Lord's endless tender mercies and love for little me and my little house.  I was left so grateful for a loving husband's sweet, selfless service.

Lesson #3--In the midst of chaos, beauty and structure and answers emerge.  I learned last week that even if I'm not ordering and cleaning my house, I can organize and tidy my inward self.  This made me happy and not feel like I was wasting last week.  I spent a lot of time pondering and honing my daily schedule for this coming year.  And the Lord blessed me with all kinds of miraculous ideas and  wisdom.  Truly, I was blessed while I was sick and my house was in chaos to bring forth new ideas and order the world within me.  And though I've been still very sick this week, I have at least been capable of doing the daily chores and playing with my children.  And I get the wonderful privilege of living out the plan the Lord helped me create last Saturday, so I am extremely happy.

Lesson #4--It's possible to be happy even when we are sick.  This has been such a wonderful lesson to experience.  Though my body has been suffering, the Lord has truly helped my Spirit to be light and content and enjoy each small, slow moment for the grandeur it contains.  My life is in the hands of the Lord and I trust that He will see fit to heal me when He deems the time is right.  I love my life and my family so much, it almost hurts to think about it, for fear my heart will burst in gratitude and joy.  I am so blessed.

Homemade wheat bread...

Homemade Apple Pie...made with love and coconut oil and agave substitutions for a healthier dessert!

And this was a few days ago.  Easton's book order came in and I had ordered books for each of my sweeties.  They spent the rest of the afternoon pouring over the pictures, and Maylie has carried around her little suitcase full of Hello Kitty books ever since.  I love how much my children love books, and I love to buy them books every book order I can. It makes us all light up!  Books have always been precious to me...the smell of the pages, the feel in my hand, the comfort, the wisdom, the faraway lands, the excitement.  There is something almost magical about a book.  And still to this day I have a hard time reading on electronic devices because of my deep deep love for a real, live book.

And so we carry on the tradition of story time every single day after lunch for 15-30 minutes and sometimes even an hour.  We've been holding this gathering time for 3 years now and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world! It is a sacred time I treasure and will look back on with ever so much fondness.  The experience of reading books together is one of the things I hold close to my heart, for my memories of reading with my mother when I was little (and not so little) are treasures of the highest value.  I'll always remember laying down with her on her bed for story time and nap time every day after lunch and then as I got older I would read books to my little sisters, and then as I entered the teenage years I would read the Harry Potter books to my mom every day after school as she cooked or quilted.  These are some of my very best memories. And I hope that my sweet little children will look back on their days of childhood with fond remembrance of our own sweet story times--cuddled up with blankies and pillows on the couch.

The End.