A Thought...

Note: This picture is not the view I beheld as I had this epiphany...I should have grabbed my camera.  This is just another stunning morning from my window.

The other day, when I was enjoying the setting sun reflecting off the opposite mountains in brilliant hues of hot pink, I had a small epiphany.  But let me back up a bit.

Nearly 10 years ago, my dad and I were having a discussion and at one point in the conversation, my dad opened up the Book of Mormon and read to me Mosiah 5:15:

Therefore, I would that ye should be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in good works, that Christ, the Lord God Omnipotent, may seal you his, that you may be brought to heaven, that ye may have everlasting salvation and eternal life, through the wisdom, and power, and justice, and mercy of him who created all things, in heaven and in earth, who is God above all. Amen.

He told me that whenever he read this scripture, he thought of me, for he felt like it described the desires of my heart and my innate personality.  But then he made a comment out of passing, something like, "I'm not sure how we can be both steadfast and immovable, while at the same time 'abounding' in good works, but it says it's possible."

Since then I've often thought of this scripture and what it means to me.  The dictionary defines "abound" as "existing in large amounts" and so I suppose that this is the core of the what the scripture means--that our good works are plentiful.  But if we take it to mean "bounding" in good works instead of "abounding," the meaning changes a bit.  To bound means to walk or run with leaping strides.  And this can present an oxymoron.

But, the day when I watched the glow of the sun illuminate those mountains, I had a thought of how one can be immovable and "bounding" at the same time.

The mountains are the epitome of steadfast and immovable.  But yet, they always look different.  Some seasons they are white, others green, or radiating yellows and oranges.  The sun can be shining behind them, or on them, or they at times are cloaked in a heavy fog.  But regardless of what garb they choose to wear, they are always there, the same mountains, abounding in beauty, but "bounding" in different arrays of beauty.

It may be a stretch, but it's just the musings of me as I seek to imbue my world with holiness.

Refocus.

I've been thinking about focus lately.   How focus can really color (or discolor) the day...or week...or month...or year.  It seems everyone has a niche--some focus that is all theirs and unchangeable.  And I've been wondering how to find my focus--one that will actually make a difference for good.  It seems my ones of the past haven't always been beneficial (like perfection and routine and to-do lists).  And the ones that have been wonderful (like thanksliving and pondering and moments and others like these) don't always last.  I was feeling rather stuck last night, contemplating all these puzzle pieces that didn't quite fit together in my mind.

So I prayed and yesterday morning searched the words of living prophets.  Then I took a notecard (my favorite device) and wrote 2 headings--Focal Points and Focus.  Under each I listed the words that were paired with these headings as I found them in articles and talks....

Focal Points:

*The Temple

*Jesus Christ and His teachings

Focus:

*motherhood/family

*others (outside ourselves)

*family history work

*eternity/the big picture

*blessings

*kindness & forgiveness

*the one

*essentials

*prayer

*light

*what the Lord would have you do

*small daily bites (our daily bread)

Many "focus" words I found in President Uchtdorf's talks...and it's interesting that I've been having the prompting to compile his talks and study them...

Then I listed my priorities and made sure my daily life is focusing on those things that matter most.  I made 4 goals to help my life coincide with my priorities on the back of my little notecard.

And then...I lived.

Amazingly, I still had time to do everything...which is something that hasn't happened in weeks.  The whole concept of time has been baffling me.  How is it possible that the last few weeks have sped up so fast as to completely erase my small hold on any semblance of time-control?

But I think it's changed now that I listed out the things of my heart and limited myself dramatically.

Tate and I played games for a long while.  It was such a time of connection for the both of us.

Then we drove through the autumn to pick up Easton and I noticed how the once-brilliant yellow trees were bare.  And it hit me.  The changing seasons refocus every few months.  The golden leaves and fiery reds of fall give way to blankets of fluffy snow which in turn give way to pastel blossoms and then deep green leaves and luscious grass.  The focus changes.

And so it has been (and will continue to be) for me.  My focus will ebb and change with the seasons.  Right now my focus is on connection with my little ones, preserving memories, limiting where I spend my energy, and responding with love.  But this too will change...most likely when the snow starts to fall and we are settling snugly into our new house...there will be a refocusing and new habits to develop.

And of course, over-arching and under-girding all my days, I will seek to live out holiness to the Lord with family eyes turned towards the temple.  Perhaps this life's theme is like nature itself and while the details change with time, the perspective of eternity is always in striking view.

To paraphrase President Uchtdorf, focusing on the why of the gospel is a pathway of peace and joy in this life and glory and inexpressible fulfillment in the life to come. 

It's going to be grand.

Autumn Highlights

Our autumn has been full and inspiring.  Not too many pictures have been snapped, so a little list of highlights is in order:

• Our temple, the Brigham City temple was dedicated and we were able to attend a session just last week.  Sitting in that gorgeous edifice, the first thing I felt was that I was finally home.  And while all temples feel like home, this one feels like our home, our very own special, sacred temple.
• I was able to ride down with my stake to the Relief Society meeting and go with my mother-in-law and sisters-in-law.  And the whole day was a much-needed break for me.  Patrick insisted I leave early and do some shopping in Brigham City and some pondering on the temple grounds.
• Our house is coming along nicely.  Almost completely sided, it's being mudded and taped at this stage in the game.  Our builder keeps promising Thanksgiving, but I'm expecting December...{I've never been one to get my hopes up too much.  It allows me to not be too disappointed or pleasantly surprised}.
• I've been busy with lots of photo shoots...this warm Autumn is lending itself well to photographs.
• We've been busy with your tradition of a yearly family movie to give to our parents for Christmas.  I'm not sure why I've never uploaded the past year's movies to our blog...I'll have to put that on the to-do list.
• Last Friday and Saturday I attended a Time-Out for Women event with my sister Natalie and my mom.  It was literally amazing and I loved the time spent with two of my very best friends.

And then there was Monday....when Easton and Tate disappeared to the outdoors and by the time I got Maylie all bundled up, I found Easton raking leaves and Tate raking dirt (Tate claimed to be getting the garden ready to plant in).  Easton asked me if he could earn a little extra money since this was an extra chore.  I was so happy that he wanted to help that I agreed wholeheartedly. 

And after 45-50 minutes of raking non-stop, Easton was the proud owner of 5 piles of leaves.

But the story doesn't end there.  The sweetest part came later after they came in and were ready for bed.  "Mommy?" He began.  "I want to earn money so I can get you and Daddy something."  I couldn't believe my ears.  Where had he learned this art of generous giving?  I stand continually in awe of the spirits that our Father sends us.  Aren't they a miracle?

I love you Easton.

And Tate.

And Maylie.

And Patrick.

And Autumn with all of it's splendor....

Catching Grasshoppers.

The other day Patrick was reminiscing about his childhood summers, and remembered the delight and wonder of catching grasshoppers.  Thus began, the grasshopper catching...

 Surprisingly, Easton was the bravest and Tate kept giggling and pulling his hands away every time he touched it.

And I just smiled and took pictures, thinking to myself how very different boys are from girls.  I have never even touched a grasshopper (at least not on purpose), let alone held one in my hands.  Raising boys has opened my eyes to new vistas, to be sure. And I'm loving every minute of it!

Cure for a Heartsick Soul.

I woke today with a feeling of heartsickness...for no apparent reason.  The day loomed on like drudgery, but I did my best to wear a smile of love for my loved ones.

My prayers were answered in late afternoon when I least expected it...

...leaves ablaze with sunlight...

...clouds floating atop the mountains behind our house...

...a red water pump...

...an antique gas pump...

...a paper-thin leaf all perfect on the wet cement...

...a stone firepit that waits for summer...

...wheels turning to the rhythm of time...

...little boy laughter breaking the solitude of a small farm town...

...witnessing how even though we fall we're "still okay..."

...Tate telling me to look up and see the "beautiful clouds..."

...and seeing it all, the windows, this cottage, these trees, this world, from a new perspective.

I thought I was enjoying the beauty enough from the large picture windows throughout our home.

But experiencing it firsthand, with the wind on my face and the cold in my ears was invigorating and awe-inspiring and consuming.

I guess all my heart really needed was to join hands with nature and breathe in the scent of aging winter.  Maybe His creations could be the answer to many of our sorrows and sleepy eyes and bad moods, and even aches in our hearts that spring up from nowhere.  It seems that winter brings withering of leaves and shrubs and oft-times a withering of our hearts.  But this withering, only makes room for new growth and a vibrancy of green.

Maybe the ache I felt today was only a longing for communion.  A communion with His creations.  And a communion with Him.  And sometimes it's much easier to feel His love and His whisperings when you're standing in the majesticness of His handiwork...