I woke today with a feeling of heartsickness...for no apparent reason. The day loomed on like drudgery, but I did my best to wear a smile of love for my loved ones.
My prayers were answered in late afternoon when I least expected it...
...leaves ablaze with sunlight...
...clouds floating atop the mountains behind our house...
...a red water pump...
...an antique gas pump...
...a paper-thin leaf all perfect on the wet cement...
...a stone firepit that waits for summer...
...wheels turning to the rhythm of time...
...little boy laughter breaking the solitude of a small farm town...
...witnessing how even though we fall we're "still okay..."
...Tate telling me to look up and see the "beautiful clouds..."
...and seeing it all, the windows, this cottage, these trees, this world, from a new perspective.
I thought I was enjoying the beauty enough from the large picture windows throughout our home.
But experiencing it firsthand, with the wind on my face and the cold in my ears was invigorating and awe-inspiring and consuming.
I guess all my heart really needed was to join hands with nature and breathe in the scent of aging winter. Maybe His creations could be the answer to many of our sorrows and sleepy eyes and bad moods, and even aches in our hearts that spring up from nowhere. It seems that winter brings withering of leaves and shrubs and oft-times a withering of our hearts. But this withering, only makes room for new growth and a vibrancy of green.
Maybe the ache I felt today was only a longing for communion. A communion with His creations. And a communion with Him. And sometimes it's much easier to feel His love and His whisperings when you're standing in the majesticness of His handiwork...
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